| so this year was boring I see....
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I got a Bachelors degree... got a cat, voted for a black man for president, sang kareoke, something else?
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
didn't have any, don't plan on it
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
noo....
4. Did anyone close to you die?
my grandpa
5. What countries did you visit?
Michigan ha
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
a steam room and an eliptical machine... a hot tub would be nice too.... my own money!
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Aug 22-24 Outside lands... awesome!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating with a BA, getting a sweet deal job for the City of Hayward
9. What was your biggest failure?
not working on obama's campaign and being lazy with summer instead...?... moving back in with my mom
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I'm good.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
outside lands/malkmus tickets, books, presents, gasoline and good food
12. Whos behavior merited celebration?
everyone
13. Whos behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sarah Palin, John McCain, George Bush, Israeli/Palestinians... the others that don't make the news... and FOX news...David Horrowitz
14. Where did most of your money go?
food and gas and clothes to wear to a fancy job
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
outside lands, graduation, two day town
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Malkmus- Real Emotional Trash, 90s rock.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder?
I don't know
ii. thinner or fatter?
same
iii. richer or poorer?
richer... woo
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
reading, traveling, being creative
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being lazy
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
In town with the few loves
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
everyday
23. How many one-night stands?
lots of nights
24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office/30 rock
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope
26. What was the best book you read?
God Bless you Mr Rosewater, Jailbird, Lamb, Half asleep in Frog PJs
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
beats
28. What did you want and get?
outside lands tickets, to see my MI fam, spend more time with G, Stewart kitty
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Dark Knight and Pineapple Express- oh and Religious
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
22.. probably studied for a final... joint party because everyone and their mother is born that week in March!
32.Whats one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a father, enough money saved to not move in with my mom
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
same as every year
34. What kept you sane?
myself, Garrett, Gerrin
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
james franco
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the election
37. Who did you miss?
dad and high house girls and friends of, LALEA
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Caitlyn and Paul
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
stay in school
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
eh why not?
Take a piece of tinsel and put it on the tree, cut a slab of melon and pretend that you still love me, carve out a pumpkin and rely on your destiny, get in your car and cruise the land of the brave and the free | comments: Leave a comment   |
| you know how when it's about 3 weeks before your birthday you start telling people you're already that year older.....
why can't that apply to graduation.
i'm so sad... they used to say that staring at a screen would turn your brain to oatmeal mush- now if you stare at the right screen apparently you get smarter.......... i have so much more to do. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| in 2 weeks from today, i'll be 22
so young, but so much time has passed.
i've never really realized in myself before that the things i like i usually grow to like and then i like them forever- from sunglasses and shoes to ideas and places.
that's interesting.
it makes it really sad when i lose my sunglasses.
March is bittersweet. the first two-3 weeks are no good. but the last part is gonna be so good and then next quarter i have "resolutions". but basically i'm stoked. woo. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | yes. | | Time: | 04:20 pm |
|
| this has been such an unproductive day.
really all i want to do is cuddle up in my bed and watch the rain water the earth. appreciate it for the colors and adventures it will bring, come spring.
there are adventures to be had in the rain too.
but i have so much else to do. (even my procrastination is unproductive! ha!)
but my mind is in lalaland, not intellectual space.
I want to be creative, but this scholastic pressure is pressin and i just want to frolic in the rain, drink cocoa, get high and look out my window.
my birthday begins spring break... i won't mind 22 because then i get a break.... it's almost over, i need to enjoy. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i want to help or contribute to the preservation of this world
the life we live today wouldn't exist
if it weren't for every past generation of great minds and innovators
of course that is to say in the privileged world.... at least
but i can't feel helpless and small in this world that's run by old idiots.
so many americans- the high ones with the big salaries that they worked really hard to get the right to exploit others to make their money... maintain their power
they should be put on trial for crimes against humanity.
they are raping the planet.... it's like rape not being for the sexual pleasure of sex, but for the kind of power one feels when they have the power, the ability to get what they want- and no matter how much the other fights back, sanctions, "structural adjustment", and military presence will weaken the soul of people in the world so that we succumb to U.S. hegemony.
all empires fall
the question is when and how... we know where and why.
of course i have privilege..... how should i use it is the question.... it's everyone's our question.
i'm angry... but i don't want to be that victim, yet i am a human and i empathize with the human struggle....
i feel like these idiots are ruining the privileged life i was given.... how can i be so selfish to want it for myself.... then where am i different.... many ways i'm sure.... but still i don't know if there's a real good way to deal with my beliefs....
where's the median, where's the peaceful way? how do i find real peace? how does the world continue to exist AND get better for future generations?
That thing Yoda said about hate and fear and anger and something leading to the darkside ( i don't remember the order, but we all get the gist)... I don't want that, I don't want to hate neocons so much (but it's SOOOO HARD) that i become something sad and ugly
But their presence in our policies is apparent and affects my life, the world, and our future... and yours too.... how can you blame me if i want revenge... if i hate
HELP ME YODA! HA
can how i embrace a future that i'm told is so bleak, yet still have hope to achieve something and not destroy my soul?
i'd like to major in that concept; i'd pay $60,000 for that degree.
i don't know if i feel better. i do know one thing...
all you need is love, the love you make is equal to the love you take
and
say the word and you'll be free... the word is love.
i love a lot, but some very real things are impossible to love.... what to do with those...
blah, i need sleep. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| 1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
go to NYC, go to Europe, some concerts, have a radio show, drank at a bar and bought it in the grocery store, gamble (and win!)
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
didn't have any, don't plan on it
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Emma's sister, a co-worker, and i'm sure someone from highschool haha
4. Did anyone close to you die?
my daddy
5. What countries did you visit?
Sewden, Denmark, Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Czech Rep, Switzerland
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
direction and relaxation, patience, the ability to make decisions, a college degree
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 18th I turned 21. May 10th daddy died, June 17 I went to Sweden & Aug 29th I came back. November 9 &10 th- Ween. December 30 Cake and December 31st rockin new years party at the high house
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know how to put that one in words.... myself is my biggest achievement.
9. What was your biggest failure?
my memory, losing stuff
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
fucked up my knee after turning 21 and had a crazy stomach problem in Sweden.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
concert tickets, books, presents, gasoline and good food
12. Whos behavior merited celebration?
everyone
13. Whos behavior made you appalled and depressed?
eh i don't know.... big problems .... oh and the bitch who was on the sweden program
14. Where did most of your money go?
euros and kroners.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Sweden, WEEN, seeing family, seeing concerts and parties... just depends on the mood ya know
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
My back pages- Bob Dylan. Umbrella- Rihanna haha.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder?
I don't know
ii. thinner or fatter?
same
iii. richer or poorer?
richer... woo
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
reading
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being lazy
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it in Michigan with my dad's side of the family, drinkin in the furnace room and bonding, makin snow men
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
i love you
23. How many one-night stands?
lots of nights
24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
oh yeah that girl from my program this summer
26. What was the best book you read?
Still Life with Woodpecker
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
hmm.... the 90s hahaha.... more unheard ween
28. What did you want and get?
i do therefore get what i want.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Across the Universe
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
21 at midnight so St Patricks day made it impossible to get into the bars. after i woke up I went to Livermore and had a drink at the v&e and went to sushi with mom, dad, and garrett.
32.Whats one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a father
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
same as every year
34. What kept you sane?
music, friends, tom robbins
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
John Krazinski (Jim)
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
iraq i guess... its all connected
37. Who did you miss?
everyone I'm close to
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Kayla, Lalea
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
life's too short so have fun while you can.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Cake ended 2007 with me so.... I will just say, "you turn the screw" | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I missed the summer I missed
how can we (all) make this winter into something as rewarding as a summer?
(ie- what are your favorite things about/to do in winter seasons?) | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| Dear Members of U.S. Congress,
Why should I feel like I have no freedom of speech? Why should the debate of free speech ring louder than the reason why someone chose to say what they feel?
This "ism" war needs to stop. We need to stop repeating history- fighting fascism we locked up an entire race of people many of whom were US citizens (I know you know this, but why does it seem like our government doesn't remember?!). When we fought communism we blacklisted and arrested anyone that might speak out against some "american value" then we killed our own youth, Koreans, Vietnamese, and thousands of others that we aided with weapons and training in order to serve American interests in other parts of the globe- we live on planet Earth not plant USA. Now that we're fighting terrorism we're killing our own youth again as well as thousands of Middle Eastern people- who are not all evil- why don't we recognize any of our own acts as evil? Why do we have to fit neatly into binaries of for or against? Where has the logic and rationality in government gone? (or has it ever even been there?)The money we spend on this failed "war" could have been spent to promote peace and to help Katrina efforts- this drought in California- or college scholarships, medical benefits, ANYTHING to affirm life (not as an abortion issue- which shouldn't be an issue at all even) rather than kill those who have a different ideal or those who follow blindly- EDUCATION NOT WAR PLEASE!
If we live in a democracy then I hope you listen (read)this with compassion and hope. I do not feel like a vote on a ballot is a voice- I need my voice to be heard and my beliefs/opinions/facts to be taken seriously by those who "represent" me. Please knock some sense in congress, we have to be responsible if we're going to be the superpower on the globe- that doesn't mean being imperialistic.
Thank you for your time,
Hilary Graham (please don't black list me)
additionally- why is it that when Clinton tries to get a blow job the American public tries to impeach him- where as Bush has put death sentences of many poor Americans, Iraqis, Afghanis, +++ and lies about wmds to the American public to get support for this "war" and we still let him get away with it?
http://www.democrats.com/peoplesemailnetwork/65?ad=g4&gclid=CMLU6Z6mio8CFSgZagodhVSBvA <- petition to impeach | | comments: Leave a comment |
| When Swedes come to the U.S. I'm sure they're thinkin' "where's the good falafel places"?
White people are horrible at food.
I'm so looking forward to
sushi
mexican food
fruit juice
hummus
oatmeal cookies
peaches
salsa
cheddar cheese
beer other than Heinekin and Carlsberg + at a price I can afford!!!
+hills, people i know, diversity
I'm going to miss
downloading whatever I want risk free (from the law)
the lack of traffic
pretty and old buildings (why does the U.S. feel the need to renovate everything every 10 years?)
everything being green
the sky
tha falafel too
my orange easy street mustang cruiser
Lalea
sourdough bread
So far:
best quote: In Copenhagen, some middle eastern guy at a falafel place with rastafarian accent- "Where you guys from?" us-"California." him-"OHHH AFFFRica" us-"uh no california." him-" ohhh you know Michael Jackson macaroni macaroni Michael Jackson macaroni macaroni."
best city: Stockholm
best chocolate: belgium (thats not how you spell it is it?)-not switzerland
best castle: Fredriksborg- Hillerod, Danmark
best bar: Delirium- (2000 different kinds of beer) Brussles | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| people say there's a purpose in life.
but history really hasn't shown much of a purpose.
sure, we have "progressed"....
but we have moved forward with material and security things
we have the "luxiory" to commute to a job that has security so we can own that home.
while we commute to work we can listen to music and talk to someone far away
some people think they can even pick their nose... but you are not invisible inside your car.
anyways, the thing, the purpose for life, the message of all religions.... is love, compassion, being good and fair
have we progressed in these ways?
sure Swedish and Danish kings haven't fought over diamonds for 200 years,
but African nations remain at war,
they are at war because we commute,
they are at war because diamonds are a girls best friend,
because we've found valuable resource in their land, and can brush aside humanity for money ?
They war because they want their freedom- from u.s.
from the world bank, and TNCs.
Africans in bondage again under white masters. Fudalism went corporate.
Middle Eastern countries are still at war.
Refugees flood Scandinavia.
They war because we commute to our job.
They war because God wants them to.
We shout "We must fight for democracy abroad so we can have democracy at home!"
We must have democracy at home so we can have democracy abroad!
Fighting for Democracy in Iraq
Frighting against democracy in Africa.
What other atrocities are ignored by our culture?
why do we have a selective and skewed notion of "reality"
Why are we only given one version of life?
God is dead.
we haven't figured out how the world works,
after this long looking for a purpose
don't you think God would help us out a little?
All we are, and all we have been is
one religious and zealous despot after the other claiming his truth over anothers
truth he is willing to kill and die for. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Brussels 7/5 -7/8
Copenhagen/relatives 7/13-7/15
Stockholm 7/20- 7/23
Norway in a Nutshell 8/2- 8/5
Amsterdam 8/19- 8/12 (+ Kate)
Copenhagen (Gerrin, Kristen, and Kate) 8/17- 8/19
Berlin 8/20- 8/23
Prague 8/23- 8/26
Switzerland 8/26- 8/29
California 8/29
wooo... fuck these classes I'm taking though | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I hope not
everyone I know had a bad week/end
it was beautiful out
I met a monk today... he was uplifting
forgiveness seems like a horribly difficult thing to truly be able to do
in less than 2 weeks I'll be 21.
in less than 2 weeks I'll be done with this quarter.
in less than 1 month I'll be in Manhatten
last march my dog died
last march it rained for the entire month
last march I was sad and confused
I had a very productive day... two essays and interview research all done today.
I want to snuggle... it would be easier to sleep.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| i feel like a million bucks
nothing could break my sway
i fell in love today
seriously.
he left and i'm still writing a paper, but i feel so good.
so good. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| all i want is to ingest inspiration and crap creativity. flourescent lights don't do anything, neither do walls, they blind me from realizing possibilities and contain me in a frame. i'm fighting on both sides of reality, i can keep doing what i'm doing and let the academic financial world live my life for me, or take time to do what makes me feel good and face consequences and regret later. i find little inspiration from things learned inside walls, academic walls, institution walls, and therefore creativity is hardly possible. i want to practice my balance, i want to learn art technique, how to make the process faster and closer resemble the picture in my mind, and if i can't play guitar well then i at least want to make a ukulele sound pretty. i'm killing myself to remain alive, if we don't live forever then life's gotta be worth something to each person, everyone can value "worthy" things differently, why is it that after we're born we're told what things are worthy and what are not, and why do we listen... only because we've been threatened. I'm waiting to sail the seas but in the meantime, i'll lighten up. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| 1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
some places; Portland (pot festival) Seattle, sunol, point reyes, S. Lake Tahoe, different areas of yosemite. some concerts; Reel Big Fish, Ween, Chili Peppers, Beck, Robert Randolph.. some drugs.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
didn't have any, don't plan on it
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Emma's sister, a co-worker, and i'm sure someone from highschool haha
4. Did anyone close to you die?
SUZY!
5. What countries did you visit?
none
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
direction and relaxation, patience and more time off
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 18- I always remember my birthday. April 25ish- 2 day town. July 22-24- Tahoe,WEEN, trip. Aug 4th- getting back together. Aug 16- moving out, bye acacia. Aug 25- Chili Peppers. Sept 9- PORTLAND. Sept 13- moving in. Dec 30- Ft. Bragg.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
staying alive, getting my mom to like Zeppelin and the Chili Peppers... i worked a lot, moving my stuff downstairs into a storage space and then upstairs again.
9. What was your biggest failure?
my memory, losing everything i own, spilling a shit load of paint on my carpet
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
some good bruises with silly stories, and yeah i think i got sick a lot.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
concert tickets, posters, art supplies, books, presents
12. Whos behavior merited celebration?
Garrett- while also #13
13. Whos behavior made you appalled and depressed?
people who stole my waynes world box set and my bike. a few people with little importance. and mom
14. Where did most of your money go?
books, food, bills, gas, stufffffff
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
summer (then it dissapointed me), WEEN, chili peppers, portland! suprise!
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
LMLYP & Gabrielle, all flaming lips, stadium arcadium, pressed against the sky- toadies, freeze the saints- malkamus
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder?
I don't know
ii. thinner or fatter?
same
iii. richer or poorer?
richer... woo
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
exploring and adventures (as always), relaxed, opened up more, painted more, read more (although I did a good amount).
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
working & getting anxious/worrying about things.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent Christmas with my dad, garrett, and then sister-in-law's family, the next day with them and my mom.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
a few times, one person
23. How many one-night stands?
hmm..
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Project Runway, no more TV so Curb & arrested development on DVD
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
<3
26. What was the best book you read?
Skinny Legs and All, reread another roadside attraction, Journey to the East, Siddartha, The Alchemist
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Malkamus, flaming lips, toadies, yo la tengo, Robben Ford, Joe Pass, Bill Evans, Mock Orange
28. What did you want and get?
see ween and the chili peppers, some days off, but not as many as i reallllly wanted, my love
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
i saw the global warming movie.... i don't remember what else... i wanted to see a few.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
20.... Jonna came to visit me, then had a party for me and Cyr where they made me do a keg stand and that was the end of the night
32.Whats one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
less work, less war, less worry, less distance, less moving!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
same as every year
34. What kept you sane?
Ralph Quinn...... but I'm looking for something as I feel like i'm going insane sometimes... i was good in the begining of the year though, i kept myself sane... hmm what happpened?
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
the ones at the check out lines in safeway
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
iraq, isreal, sudan, sneaky politics and jesus freaks.
37. Who did you miss?
Garrett and Acacia
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Lilly, the boys in the back, Drew, Jenny, Leah, others who I only met this year but it feels like i've known longer
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Life doesn't meet you halfway, if you want something you gotta take it yourself, and 'over the top'
i learned to be happy with myself and what i have and the things that are ment to be will work themselves out.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
i like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane | | comments: Leave a comment |
| My work gave out the christmas bonus today, gift cards to my own fucking store, how fucking pointless, I steal everything I want from there anyway, I wonder if I can sell it on eBay? They used to give certificates to the grocery store next door that would give you cash back after you bought it, but now this is what we get, bullshit. I just finished a 10 hour shift, I got off at 11pm, that hasn't happened since the movie theater, but at least I'll get overtime. Just sucks cuz I have to be there again tomorrow at 1. I'm kinda tired of this, I wasted my summer working, now I'm wasting my winter break working.... Spring break, I'm gonna ask for it off, I mean I'll turn 21 during my spring break anyway fuck it. Everyone is out of town that I know, except work people and I just spent 10 hours with them and they gotta be there at 6 in the morning. There's a lot I know I need to do, but I'm forgetting right now. I may be rich, but it's lonely. My body aches. My hands are all fucked up from folding so many damn boxes, seriously so many little paper cuts and knicks, and they're dry and dirty. I'm excited for my week off though, and New Years... I won't be around, I'm so excited to get out and relax. This winter break blows so far. Well I guess I don't have much more to complain about. oh well maybe I could go on about how fucking cold my house is, but I'll save that for later, i'm sure you get the picture.
life is good
jitterbug perfume, ween ring tones, silver dollar, caish in california, lots of colors, anticipating (that can be both good and bad)
need to wash the blood and dust off of me. a las medionoche me ducho | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| i think a good cause would be to send angelina jolie some chapstick, i mean why are her lips always chapped looking
oooo mom if you please pass me the pork roll egg and cheese if you please
i'm in Livermore and i've got too much energy, and no one to help me put it to good use.... hooody hoody hooo woooohooo hoody hoody hoo
i watched about 2 hours of ween videos
i almost made it on to youtube as well, but they cut the clip before bmy debut de butt da butt shake ya butt
the reno hilton reno, nevada
first time ever in reno, didn't know what to expect but i definitely didn't expect much. it turned out to be one of the best gigs of the summer--i think reno is my new favorite awful place. we've spent too much time sitting around the mandalay bay hotel in vegas the past 6 years and i think the experience has left us scarred. the reno hilton was a lot less family oriented and the whole thing was more fun, and sleazier in an old school way. the stage in the auditorium is the largest in the world (i think it's in the guinness book), they actually have an out of service boeing jet backstage and a basketball court, for no apparent reason. there was virtually no security present in the backstage area and they basically gave us free reign to wander around and do what we pleased. they styled us out with a gorgeous dressing room and one of the best spreads of food and drink on the whole tour. the show was a total blast, all over the place dynamically. for awhile we embraced the whole casino vibe and played some lounge music. afterwards we hit the casino floor and bars and had a good time hanging out with some fans. there was just a really good vibe about the whole show, can't really tell you why, but it was just a fun night. how many times do you get to walk offstage and sit on the stairway of a boeing jet with no security around?
word.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I wonder if President Bush and all those other BIG men make love, I wonder if they watch TV shows that aren't the "news", I wonder if they really do have secret MySpace accounts and waste their time browsing YouTube and Wikipedia, I wonder if they cry, I wonder if they notice birds, and squirles, and butterflies outside of their office windows, I wonder if they loook at the stars or if they can even see stars where they are from, I wonder if they love their children, I wonder if they know they even have children, I wonder if they even believed the truth if they would even care, I wonder if they go to bars, I wonder if they dance, do they sing, I wonder if they have an ounce of sweetness to them or an ounce of "average joe complex" to them, or do they all just suffer from short man syndrome- they don't need the big truck, they have big bombs and big checkbooks. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
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